You’re Not “Unphoto-genic”
— A Conversation Every Bride Needs to Hear
A collaboration between Tyler Rickenbach from Ankuur Studios & recent bride Brinley Hobbs of Downtown Bridal
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We all do it.
You open a photo. And instead of seeing the joy… you zoom straight into your insecurity.
“I didn’t like that angle.”
“My arm looks weird.”
“That’s not my good side.”
We tear ourselves down before we ever allow ourselves to experience the moment the photo actually captured.
Recently, I sat down with Brinley Hobbs — a recent bride and Downtown Bridal customer — to talk about something almost every bride feels but rarely says out loud:
The fear of not looking good in your own wedding photos.
This conversation wasn’t about posing tricks or editing presets.
It was about confidence, courage, communication and authenticity.
What Goes Through a Bride’s Mind on Wedding Day?
Brinley described it honestly:
You’re hot.
You’re in a tight dress.
The sun might be beating down on you.
People are watching.
You just got married.
You want to enjoy it, but you also want to look your best.
That’s a lot.
And underneath it all is the quiet pressure:
“I hope I don’t look awkward.”
“I hope I’m photogenic.”
“I hope I love these photos.”
The truth? Almost every bride feels this.
“I’m Just Not Photogenic.”
We hear this constantly.
Brinley’s response was simple:
“As soon as you tell yourself you’re not photogenic, your body starts to represent that.”
Your shoulders tense.
Your smile tightens.
You hesitate.
The camera only captures the outside, but your body language reflects what’s happening inside.
Instead of repeating “I’m not photogenic,” try this:
Practice a few poses beforehand.
Figure out which side you naturally prefer.
Notice where you feel confident.
Communicate your insecurities with your photographer.
Yes, communicate them.
If you don’t love your arms.
If you prefer one side of your face.
If certain angles make you uncomfortable.
Say it.
On your wedding day, you are not “modeling a dress.”
You are celebrating your marriage.
Remember, your photographer works for you.
The Photographer’s Responsibility
From the creative side, this isn’t just about posing.
It’s about reading energy.
If someone’s body tenses…
If their smile feels forced…
If they look uncomfortable…
That’s not something to push through. That’s something to pause.
Sometimes the most powerful move is simply:
“Hey — let’s take five.”
Label the emotion.
Reset.
Grab water.
Breathe.
The best images don’t come from forcing perfection, they come from connection.
And connection requires trust.
Confidence vs. Courage
One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was this:
Confidence comes from repetition.
Courage comes before confidence.
If it’s your first shoot…
If you’re a new photographer…
If you’re a bride who’s never loved photos of yourself…
You don’t need confidence yet.
You need courage.
Courage to:
Try the pose.
Speak up if it doesn’t feel right.
Laugh at the awkward moment.
Be fully yourself.
Because here’s the secret:
The in-between moments are almost always better than the posed ones.
The cake bite.
The messy laugh.
The crooked hug.
The moment you forget the camera is there.
Those are the images you’ll treasure.
Stop Doing It “For the Gram”
Brinley said something that needs to be repeated:
“Don’t do it for the gram.”
Not every wedding photo needs to be posted.
Some images are just for you.
Some moments only make sense to you and your spouse.
Some memories are private.
Your wedding is not content.
It’s your life.
Social Media, AI & The Illusion of Perfect
We live in a world of:
Highlight reels
Filters
Face reshaping
Perfect lighting
Perfect angles
But authenticity is becoming more valuable than ever.
AI can generate beauty.
It cannot generate connection.
It cannot replicate the look in your eyes when you’re actually laughing.
It cannot manufacture the chemistry between you and your partner.
It cannot fake human vulnerability.
The photos that last are not the flawless ones.
They’re the real ones.
Be Kind to Yourself When You Look at Photos
Brinley shared something many women relate to:
When she sees a group photo, she immediately zooms in on herself.
“What did I look like?”
“Did I look good?”
Instead of:
“Look how happy we are.”
We all do this.
So here’s the invitation before you critique your photos:
Notice the smile.
Notice the joy.
Notice the people.
Notice the moment.
Who cares if your arm wasn’t at the “perfect” angle? Was it real? Were you happy? Was it you?
That’s what matters.
The Real Goal of Wedding Photography
It isn’t perfection.
It isn’t Pinterest.
It isn’t Instagram.
It’s presence.
It’s connection.
It’s remembering who you were in that moment.
The photos should feel like you — funny, quirky, confident, messy, joyful, human.
If you can’t do anything else: Be yourself.
If you don’t have confidence yet: Have courage.
The rest follows.
a Final Thought from Brinley
“Ultimately, be yourself. The photos will show when you are being yourself. That confidence comes with it because you are confident in yourself, and the photos should be funny and quirky and be you.”
If you’re a bride preparing for your wedding day, remember:
You don’t need to become someone else for the camera.
You already are enough.
And that’s exactly what we want to capture.
